[quote=Junerain;1140640]It's not yourself, it is your ILLNESS which you may not be able to see but it is there, just like a physical illness, do not be hard on yourself
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That is a gentle way of lookinjg at it. My t has told me its a "juvenile" way of coping. But it hasnt stopped me. It seems like a rough approach. If I see it as an illness, then I feel less judged.
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What kinds of things happened in your past? I had a terrible past but the more I deal with it in my own way, the more I heal Dealing with it in my own way involves sharing with a T YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH, true friends, possible family, writing it out in a journal form, expressing it visually through artwork, also sharing right here on this website is WONDERFUL...I have posted in survivors of aubse forum and it is great..
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I think my past has taught me to not trust myself, not like myself and that I am not a worthy person. And at any minute I can be abandoned. Everything feels like an abandonment. I am looking for a new t who I feel comfortable with but its a difficult search that takes a long time. I need help now and am afraid of some of the things my t says b/c it affects me negatively. I had a nice lunch today with friends and although I didnt specifically talk about SI we did talk about t's. I havent ever posted on survivpors of abuse. I usually go to the psychotherapy forum. And soem times to the medication forum. I used to paint and do photography. But I dont anymore. It would be nice to get back into that.
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Can you get a new T- 1 that you feel comfrotable with- this is your RIGHT to proper treatment and healing, do not be afraid to stick up for yourself
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I am interviewing t's. I have 2 appts next week. And am wating for a 3rd one to call me back.
Thanks Junerain- I am slowly learning which are things I should stick up for. I didnt know this t wasnt good for me (tho I had my suspicions) until recently.