Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightheart
I put the trigger icon on here, just in case.
Bluemoon, I don't know much of anything about SI, but I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time.
Have you thought about identifying just what is is you're feeling when you self-injure? Is there a momentary gain or escape? Maybe there is something else you can do instead?
You will find your special therapist, Bluemoon.  |
Thanks Brightheart. I always forget the trigger thing. There are certain things that make my mind immediately go to cutting. It a desperate lonely and abandoned and unloved feeling. Feeling rejected in the worst way. My h can easily bring these feelings on for me. I had not cut in a really long time and then about 1 yr ago I started up again (and now its an on and off problem) after a bad fight we had. And this past time when the therapist didnt show up for the appointment I had these feelings again and cut. But she didnt call me back and Im not feeling like that at all. Because I have had time to process it and talk about it and post and get all of this support and feedback. But I dont give myself that kind of time when I get the impulse to do it. And then if I dont do it the urge gets stronger and stronger.
I have to find my special therapist. I hope so. I hope so very very much.
I dont know whether to go my t on monday. Im afraid if I dont go I'll feel worse and alone. That is something I could SI over- I didnt go and Im alone and abandoned. So- even if it isnt the greatest session, she does care about me and I feel it from her. I dont think I can afford (emotionally) not to go to therapy during the week.
Then tues and wed I have interview appts.