Yes, I am... and I am crying like a stupid because of that!!

I thought I had a friend and now I know that that person does not think the same way... is it a crime to go off-line for a few months because you are sick?? I lost ALL my IRL friends that way over the years... but I never thought I would lose any in here because of that...
I am so hurt I can barely breath...
Time after time I tried to make contact to only feel rejection and now I found this! I hate myself for trusting that much... I guess I will have to isolate myself again... I don't like to be hurt... my heart was teared down once again ... it is all my fault!