hi

i have read your post, and i appreciate what you are going through, because i have had some of the same

and i am 46
lol
jealousy knows no age

i have read some, but not all, of the many replies to your post.
i wanted to add my own thoughts without them being colored or influenced - ie; i didn't want to be a copycat.

what is currently working for me - in my new (6 mons? ) relationship, is being honest
i've had to say "hey. this chick flirts with you on your facebook and since we are mutual friends it ends up in my face and i feel threatened. i am jealous of her""

at first i was humiliated to say it - but as i was speaking to my bf it actually empowered me - it was a good feeling.
like, i was setting healthy boundaries and i was being authentic.

now if he responds on fb to her flirting - he does it after i've told him it bothers me
(so far he has NOT. )
so i think he does care
but until i said something he just didnt' know
and by the way these two are far apart and i honestly don't think if he were unfaithful he'd be unfaithful with her
she is someone that i feel jealous of, however.

so to condense
being very open and transparent with bf is imperative

and learning to set healthy boundaries - with any relationship
deciding what YOUR personal deal breaker is
is it infidelity?
honesty?
do you give 2nd chances?
what are the conditions?

and lastly -
how do you take care of yourSELF during a season of doubt

do you have someone to talk to - do you have a guy friend who you can ask about male behaviors, etc., my male friends are my MOST trusted and cherished
and they answer these types of questions for me

it's positive that you posted here.
i know you'll continue to get tons of support here

that's my 2 cents worth and maybe it's worth only 1 cent
i am new here and also just an outsider
but i am not a stranger to relationships, life experiences, or jealousy
i hope the VERY best for you hon
xxx