Begging of the year I faint at the skating rink because an online freind of mine responds i a very distant manner not even acknowleding my birthday ,

then accuses me of being a stalker a threat to jis family and not sure what Im capable of doing .

says they are shutting doen my email . this makes the second time i two years they did this to me .

I was very hurt . still am . then I get cancer no response from my broher .
My other friend wh is a phone frien starts to treat me horivly doesn;t call doesn't anknowlede Im a friemd to others on his site /

friend who called me a stalker is very capable of being caring to others just not to me

distant punitive and accusing me of being provocative.

more grieving sadness anger

then my dog dies .
I have no family
On top of this I can;r be seen ay the Phychiatruc deart ment for adhd to get meds

ave no insurance

doctors want me to do chemo.

My friend who caled me a stalker doesn't reach out o me in my time of need.
Im hurting deeply.

then I read o the newest phyche central news letter that people with CANCER who are depresed are more like ly to die..

I don;t know a soul who has cancer that is not depressed .

I mean loking at your life ending possibly just aint fun especially when others are runing around planing thier lives like they wil live forever.


I guessim sunk

I cry every day Im in despair every day

I didn't realy ned to read that on the news letter to day.

what good does it do me if I can;r have help
or he person I love doesn;t care .

And now Im reading old phche notes about what bad person I am .
some days I think If I disapeared it wouldn't mater to anyone/

I hope I helped a few of you ,
I can;t take being here and being ingnored by my old friend.

Patricia