Thanks for the reply and the support. Yes everything you've said is true. This relationship and the 'swinging lifestyle' has given her an opportunity shop around while still keeping me. And yes I've allowed it to happen I've never denied that fact. She has always said that she'd never leave me and if anyone ends the marriage it would be me. Right now that just sounds like a guilt trip that shes putting on me. Again I allow that to happen because of my fear of the unknown, but mostly out of my love for her. I've never been a very religous man dispite being brought up in the church (the same church where I met her) but one chapter in Corinthians has always stuck with me. Chapter 13 of Corinthians the love chapter says that 'love is quick to forgive' and I've felt that passage was a guide for love. On the other hand one my wife's favorite sayings is "you can't be a door mat unless you lay down'. I suppose the question that remains is am I doing the nobel thing in forgiving her and letting her explore her fantasies or am I a door mat? Yes, I know I'm the only one that can truly answer that question.

Mark