Thank you both! I should have mentioned (and not sure if it's relevent other than it may explain some of my own resentment) that 3 1/2 years ago he walked in and announced we were getting a divorce, in front of our daughters. We got to the point where we had worked everything out (child support, visitation, etc.) and would only need to see a court moderator to make sure everything was legal. He then decided to stay. I did put my foot down and said if he ever threatened to leave again, even if it was said in the heat of the moment, he had better be ready to go because his stuff would be out on the lawn. I wasn't going to live with the uncertainty of him coming or going, and I wasn't going to let the girls live that way either.

I know he has valid reasons for being upset or angry or depressed, and I have never denied him that. I guess what is hard for me is it's like playing a chess game blind. How am I supposed to know what move to make when I can't see his moves or the board? I try to give him information to help him understand this isn't a personal attack on him. It just seems like I am hitting the same wall and not getting anywhere...