My Support Forums - View Single Post

Elysium · Sep 18, 2009, 09:24 PM

You sound like you are miserable in this relationship!!

Ask yourself, what would have to happen for me to not be miserable? Write it out. Then think about whether each one of the issues is anything you really have any control over.

In my therapy, I have been working a lot lately with the concept that I cannot control what others do or how they respond to me, I can only control myself.

Ultmately, if HE is happy in his relationship with his family, and HE is happy with the way yours and his relationship is going...he has no reason to want to change. HE is happy...and that is all that seems to matter to him. If your feelings mattered at all, he would listen to you and work with you to build a stronger relationship between the two of you.

So, now you have a choice. You can accept the relationship for what it is, if this is good enough for you, and try to be happy. Or, you can move on with your life and start to make yourself happy on your own, or you can continue down this same road of misery and frustration that you have been on for the last nine years.

Yeah, you could marry him...but if you're not happy without the ring, you're never going to be happy with it until you both can commit to each other. And anybody can say the words "I Do", but not everybody will actually mean them.

I wish you well...and keep posting....we'll be here for you no matter what.