Ok, until we reach an agreement on what to do with this thread...

Let's contribute/share what we hope our healing is going to be...what we are looking for to happen, how do we expect to get there...will we recognize when some healing has occurred?

jme...
Aside from my addictions, which has it's own category, I did not expect my path of healing to be so damn hard.
Pardon me, but that is the truth. I wanted to feel better and I wanted it Now, not later, not doing any hard work, I wanted it Now.
Once I stopped being The Keeper of The Secrets, I felt as though I was marooned on a slippery rock in the middle of the raging river...a polite way of say, "Oh crap, what did I get myself into now...!?"
When I looked back and when I looked forward, it was an equal distance. I was sorely tempted to attempt to jump into that river and fight to get back to where I had been; sick and miserable and so very tired. I knew I was in danger of being swept away, and that scared the bejubbies out of me.

When I looked over the rapids and saw a wee bit of peace beckoning me, did I immediately take the plunge? HA! This stubborn German-Irish woman wanted a guarantee that there would be a parade for me when I reached the other side...complete with a band playing, confetti, A Gold Trophy with my name engraved on it, and applause for my efforts.

I wanted to magically leave that rock and be on the other side...after all, hadn't I been through enough? didn't I deserve an easy time of it?
Yeah, right. Me and forty thousand others...

There were times when I felt I was drowning in fear and anxiety, overwhelmed by breaking the silence, and frigging afraid of what was going to happen to me since I had opened my mouth.
It was tough, harder than I thought or wanted it to be, times when I hated myself and everyone else...and other things not fit to share in mixed company.

We are survivors, everyone of us. We Do Not Compare. We huddle together for strength and acceptance...

Some healing began to happen when I realized it was going to come slowly; not being a patient woman, this royally POd me.
TS, Catherine. It may have happened with someone else but it didn't happen with me.
Darn it but I hate baby steps, inch by inch, sloth steps.
But it's just about the only way I was going to make any progress on that path, like it or not.

One of the biggest things for me re healing was admitting to my anger at them for not protecting me, and bit by itty bit, letting go of the shame/blame BS.
Is it perfect today? Good laugh that one is...most of you know that I've gone through some rough times recently. So have many others...like energizer bunnies, we keep going and going.
We may feel stuck, and sometimes we are, and this is absolutely all right! It's not a sign of weakness, of sliding backwards, or any other negative connotation we put on allowing ourselves to rest for awhile.
Every time we post, reply, read...we are moving forward.

What say ye all?

In Peace