No you've not offended me, if anything you said exactly what i thought at the time. It felt as though despite all my attempts to explain how bad i felt i was again misunderstood. I have huge issues surrounding being misunderstood. To be honest you do sound a lot like me, I have zero tolerance for anything i think is 'stupid' and unfortunately will let ppl know how completely ridiculous they are. On this occasion though, it just left me feeling more alone. I have more understanding now that my sister had little comprehension at the time of what depression meant because she was still young too and was doing her best to help, and it means something that she cares enough to try.

I think where the problem may lie for me is that i have no idea what my core values, morals or needs are. I don't understand how people can love me for 'who i am' when i don't even know who i am, and what i do know i'm not 100% satisfied with. So their words just feel like a lie.

I don't get why you would love for the sake of loving. It all seems rather pointless and energy expending to me! I really don't understand what you mean when you say 'i love because i can'. I don't think i'm an unloving person, but i don't love willy nilly (haha i can't believe i just used the phrase willy nilly!). I have a terrifying paranoia of thinking specific thoughts just in case i have some power to make them become true (as if i'm that important...). So i do understand what you mean about it not being love unless you are prepared to die for it, i just try not to think that phrase...just in case. Ironically i'm not willing to test out my theory of unconditional love being a complete lie!

But I do want to learn to love humanity for all its fear and violence and basic stupidity......just because I can. That is unconditional love. This is just my opinion sweets.......it has taken me a while to get to this point mind you..... I am still learning

Why, why, why? Why on earth would you want to learn to love fear, violence and most significantly stupidity and ignorance? What would that accomplish? Isn't it better to fight it?

And unconditional love has no logic for it is not a physical entitiy, it is unquantifiable, endless, it does not understand space or time......it is FUNDAMENTAL. A priest said to me recently after I had a dream of epic proportions(I will not go in to it here, but if you are inetersted I will PM you), "That maybe the dream was to start thinking from the heart as well as the head".......yep, I hear that.....I was ready to hear it

Yeh i don't get that, if it isn't quantifiable how do you know it is real and not one big lie?....Although i guess maybe it comes under that whole if you feel it then it is true for you, even if it isn't universally true? I'd be interested in hearing about the dream.

Yes it is very important that people know who i am otherwise i don't believe they can love me. For a very long time i didn't believe in love at all because my rational was that someone could only love the parts of the other person that they saw (because everyone changes behaviours/opinions/demeanors based upon who they're with and where they are), so really the most that they could say is that they love the part of a person that they know, not the person in his/her entirety! I feel that people who love me now would stop loving me if i showed them the side of me that wants to collapse. They go on and on about my strength, i do wonder if i showed them all of it would they reject me?

No, what you have said doesn't make me angry, i respect your opinion although perhaps if this was a real life conversation i was having with you i'd probably be trying very hard to make you admit that you were wrong (i think you know what i mean when i say that!) Sorry i boycotted the thread.