I'm going to try my best to make this breif, civil, polite and friendly.

I have been meaning to post here for weeks now but was afraid of having posts deleted, being banned again, triggering someone or offending someone, violating the TOS, etc. I'm walking on egg-shells as I type this right now...afraid that anything I say may be taken the wrong way...might trigger. Sorry, I'm just being brutally honest here (I hope that's allowed).

I thought about nullifying the IP ban on my account by using a fake proxy server and disguising my IP (or using a dynamic IP) so I could have posted with impunity but that is not the way to make friends so I decided to just take my "punishment". Hey, punishment has been the story of my life.

I wrote to doc John and expected a severe "tongue thrashing" but much to my suprize, he was extremely gracious, forgiving and freindly (Thank God people like him still exist on this planet although he was the one who kept the ban in effect until I wrote to him personally - which I was happy to do once my issues subsided if only breifly).

My issues since the last time we talked. Ok, The "rabies" thing still pops up from time to time. Muscle twitches, numb spots, weird stuff. I'm alive (for now). I'm drinking again (sorry, don't mean to trigger) but that's how I'm coping right now (beer and cigars). It's not a long-term solution but it's working for me right now.

Another gush of emotional honesty here. I've noticed that noone has PM'd me ever since my account has been unbanned to say "welcome back" or "we really missed you Grey Goose!!". That hurts deeply. Maybe noone even knew, I don't know.

Thanks to Ozzie, Doc John and several others who IM'd me through this whole ordeal to try to get things smoothed out. I have no regrets, I just want things to normalize again.

I'll write more later if I'm given that chance. I really like this forum and never figured it would come to this - especially after all the PM's I received begging me to come back. Maybe we can give each other a second chance.

- For what it's worth...GreyGoose