"Excuse me but, we're the same age. “Don't be callin me old.” According to the world life expectancy calculator I should live to be 95. Using 20 as a base point for adulthood, I've been an adult for 35 years, that's less than half way. I have 40 more years to make the most of.
That's the “cup half full” attitude. "
Sorry Bruce----Sometimes I feel like an old lady--tho only 56 (birthday the 26th this month) I feel i have lived many lifetimes. But I like your attitude!! One I am working on adopting and just may after-all

I have no great words here......jsut working on staying focused in the present. Filling my time with as much as I can to block out what I can't deal with right now......stuffing everything in like a sausage wondering how much can fit in without it bursting at the seams.....
feeling terribly alone, forgotten and more than exhausted reaching out for myself....still meeting everyone elses needs and being available to them for whatever (IRL anyway). Feel the victim again. step on me, take everything i have, sqeaze me for every drop of energy and then just walk away......OR---just let me know I am no longer wanted.....an invasion of their space......But, it's ok, cuz all of it is familiar. all of it is normal in my life. T says i'm too nice, too giving, too quiet----she sees the fire inside and wants me to see it and to acknowledge it....i tell her i'm afraid of fire.
physical and emotional......i'd rather take the blame, stuff and do as i'm told.
Really was doing well for awhile.....don't know what happened.
Don't know why i'm in this place
DAMN------i can't find the fight and the will.....
so i make daily commitments because them i can follow thru with.(IRL)
usually.
It's all i have right now.

Sorry for the downer.
Going back into hiding.