I hesitated to reply to this thread at first because I know all to well how you feel. I have OCD among other things but my OCD triggers thoughts of the worst kind in my head. I have had overwhemling feelings of guilt, shame, disgust and sadness over my thoughts. I am currently on medication and see a T and am learning that the thoughts are my OCD not me and as my T likes to put it "Teflon Thoughts". Letting my thoughts come in and let them slide right back out. I still have some thoughts from time to time and they are quite bothersome and distressing, but recently, here on this site, I was reminded of how loving and caring people can be because I had someone to turn too when I was having a hard time. That is the upside. Whenever your having a hard time like this, turn to PC. We are here to help.

I try several things to help me with my thoughts. First of all calming your body is part of it. I drink lots of Tea's. I love herbal tea's and they work. Chamomilie is my favorite. I also drink Sleepy time and Tension tamer. I have 3-4 relaxation CD's. They range from Island sounds to Rainforest showers. I recently discovered that Target has a wonderful selection of these relaxation CD's at a very reasonable price. They range from 4.99 to 9.99. For your thoughts, you have to remember that it is not you, it is your OCD and it tries to drag you down. You have to remember that thoughts are not actions. When your having these thoughts, look around the room. Name 5 things you see, 5 things you hear and 5 things you can touch. I repeat this as much as possible. I also, lay falt on my bed with my arms out. I breath deeply and hold it for 4 secs and breath out for 3 seconds. This helps also relax your body. Putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it help, not alway but it helps. I will also transer an object from one hand to another. Whatever you can hold in your hand. I do that soley concentrating on the object and the transference between my hands. I think about my safe place and I go there. I try to recall as much details of my happy place as possible. This keeps my mind on a peaceful place rather then the intrusive thoughts.

I know the guilt you feel. I have lived it and still feel that way at times. Remember, it is not you, it is the OCD. You are a wonderful person. You have gotten some very good suggestion from the others here. I hope your feeling some releif soon. Please post as often as needed. Take care.

Jen