(((((((((( white iris )))))))))))
I'm thinking that maybe you need to have a discussion with some of these IRL friends (maybe start with those you see less often, or haven't known for as long? as this may feel less threatening) about (some of) your, and their, feelings, needs.. and maybe about boundaries. Disscussions like this can be scary so take things gently.
(none of these are the mother's friends..)
Please use good self care and don't take on more new commitments (especially friend commitments) IRL while you're feeling vulnerable.
(sorry if I'm off base )