I agree - sounds like she is completely out of control and you and your spouse etc need some peace. Perhaps she WANTS to know that she is loved and wanted, but in all the time she has been with you , and if she has the developmental delays, you could keep trying forever and she still may not "get it". I can definitely "hear" that you are at your wits end, and I can understand you feeling that way. You have done for her all her life, you don't deserve to be treated like you are , and she needs a serious wake up call . Good luck, I think we ALL know how hard you have tried.