(((((((((((Hangingon))))))))))))

I realize that I can't even talk about really painful things because everytime I do, I start to feel like I am going to cry and it's like I can't handle that. Like deep down there is this fear that if I really let go, I will lose it, lose control something.

I have no idea how to open up and be vulnerable to T wither. I am in the same position, and have been for 18months. I just cant do it. I know T will be there if I let myself cry but the thought of him actually comforting me is terrifying. I dont know how I would handle that.

T has told me he is frustrated with my "avoidance" of nearly everything that requires me to be completely vulnerable. He is also patient and kind, but really at what will I let my guard down and let him in ?? At the same time the thought of him seeing me cry and then leaving me to pick my self up after session is also terrifying.

Sorry I am not much help, but I know just how you feel, and I would be interested to see how others have got over this