Hey Neo - I don't know if you are still there or not, but I wanted to let you know that my husband does this to me. In general we have a great relationship and I know how much he loves me, but every once in awhile we get into a terrible fight and he calls me really, really awful names and I know he wants to hit me. I am only telling you this so you can get the perspective of the other person. When he does this, it makes me feel so incredibly sad and sometimes makes me wish I was dead. I think it is very brave of you to even address this issue. I really agree that you can train yourself to change and I am glad you are trying. Good luck.