mixed, it could be that for both of us! i can talk about my history and stuff with a woman, but i have zero trust when it comes to men! i have this feeling like i would have to always be "on" and couldnt relax. couldnt show up for sessions in my sweat pants and a scarf on my head because i would inevitably be trying to impress him. and then i would inevitably fall in "love" with him and it would be nothing but drama!

this could all be a scary story i tell myself to prevent me from getting into the things i need to get into.