the only therapists i've connected to have been male. despite my history of csa, physical abuse blah blah blah. i try to avoid females Ts, actually. it's the idea that they won't be emotionally available.

i tell many gory details to pdoc. he knows every miniscule detail about my periods, poor guy. old-T and i bonded over my possible bowel cancer thingy, and the tests i had to go through to rule it out. pdoc knows about the csa and has been very respectful and gentle about it. there are some things he said he wanted to know, but the rest is up to me to tell him if i want. i dont like sharing stuff like that (to anyone, regardless of gender), so i won't tell him. but if i had to tell someone it would be pdoc and i know he would be good with it too. part of my problem is in translating it from kid-language to adult-language, but he's been nice about that and modelled it for me and so it feels ok to use some of those words now.