My T is male. I defintely sought out a male T - the thought of seeing a female is really, REALLY scary to me. I can't imagine a female T liking me

My mom was my main abuser throughout my life, and when my dad was home (he was out of town a lot) she couldn't abuse me. So, it felt SAFE when he was there. I'm sure that's why I picked out a male T.

On the other hand, I have a history of CSA (with a male family "friend") and rape and a sexual relationship with my youth minister who "counseled" me in high school. So, there are plenty of issues that make a man scary too.

I DO think that being with this man who loves me AND respects me...who absolutely understands and respects boundaries...has been super, super healing. I think it really is just what I need to recover from all of the various sexual traumas of my past.

When I started seeing T, I thought I might see a man for a while and then switch to a female to deal with the mom stuff. Now I can't imagine leaving him!