Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Muffin
i think that if you could find a male therapist you trusted, the work you could do (especially around the sexual relationship with former therapist) would be amazing. i feel that same way about myself. i have a lot of long-standing issues with men that i need to work through. and maybe it will take working with a female therapist until i am ready to take the plunge with a male and really get into it.
i dont think that it cant be done with a female. i just know the power of the relationship in therapy, the power of transference, and the need to explore all of that in the context of therapy. i know it would help my relationships so much to do that with a male therapist. its just that right now, that is scary as hell to me. i mean the only male doctor ive ever had was my endocrinologist and i hated him! lol
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Dr M- That is exactly how I feel. Until I am ready to take the plunge, I cant do it. Too scary. It could be that you need you work on the fear with your current t until you are less scared and then take the plunge. I feel the same. I also dont see how it can be done with a female t. I have had a lot of healing in my relationship with my husband, but that has taken many years. He's a tolerant and patient guy.
I also have an endocrinologist....at first I was wary, but he is as old as the hills and funny as hell. So, Im comfortable. I was NOT comfortable with my male urologist when I had a UTI that wouldnt go away. He was kind, sweet and wonderful, but I didnt want him near me! Anyway, he cured that dern UTI.
As far as healing my feelings about my previous therapist- I dont know what can be done there. I have come to the point where I feel less responsible and maybe he shouldnt have done what he did (he was much older than me) but I wanted the relationship to go that way. My t has explained to me many times about the t/client relationship and this relationship was exploitive. I sort of get it. I was just very willing. And he helped me in many ways.
Anyway, I dont push myself to work with a male t and I can see you dont either- at this point it wouldnt be productive.