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lynn P. · Sep 21, 2009, 12:39 PM

Hi Jay,
what do you quarrel about - for example was it the frequency, not wanting to do something etc?? I see you have 2 posts in this section and I like what the 1st poster said about - is your wife tired or on medication. I think you need to gently ask her why she's avoiding you.
My husband used to argue about sex too. It's never good to argue because then it brings alot of tension, into what should be a relaxing time between the two of you. For me it got to the point where I felt like it was a chore for me, instead of a choice. Sit down with her and without blaming - try to talk openly as to why there's this problem.
I believe sex starts way before the bedroom, with being kind and loving to each other throughout the day. Find out from her what she needs to feel more relaxed. In addition try to do some nice things for her, like helping around the house with things that would mean alot to her. I would also if you can afford it - go out on a date with your wife and reconnect with what brought you together in the first place.
Another great thing that we women appreciate is to cuddle with her - but not necessarily leading to sex(unless she chooses to). This will show her that you genuinely want to FEEL close just because you love her and not for your own needs.
Try your best never to argue about sex - this creates resentment and guilt which puts a real damper on sexual desire. I don't know if you have children - but caring for kids can really put alot of stress on the woman, where all she wants to do is sleep LoL. Just talk to her in a loving way and find out from her what she's really feeling. Best of luck to both of you.