When I started to learn a while back about personality disorders I have reliased that my mother, that I have such a hard time understanding, has a personality disorder called "Narcissistic Personality Disorder".

My mother cannot love anyone. She just takes what she needs from people then reject them. I think that even if my mother has hurt me so much and still do hurt me, I pity her because she cannot feel love. It's a feeling she doesn't have in her. Being love is something wonderful. One of the best thing in this world and my mother can't enjoy this feeling.

There is things she did to me that I cannot forget. I also know that she cannot love me. I did put some distance between me and her but I wouldn't hurt her. I cannot break the bond between mother and child. I love her.

I just needed to write this down.
Thank you for reading it!
nightdream