Well i can certainly relate and i wish i knew myself how to NOT be like that.Let me rephrase that....i "think" i know how not to be like that but currently i am sadly unable to change my thought process My man whom i am with now started off our relationship with some things that could be construed as cheating online.After he figured out that he very well could be suffering from some sort of addiction,he went to some counseling and was dx. His therapy was cut short(he had around 6 months of it) and he promised that things were gonna be different and that he was done with that bulls**t.For close to 5 months he completely removed himself from the internet but has now slowly began surfing again.I find myself literally wanting to pull my hair out when i am away at work,and he is at home alone.I get very fixated on it to the point i comb my computer to see if i can find any sort of wrong doing.I HATE being like this.....i was never ever a jealous person like that.In all my past relationships i have always been very confident and very self assured.I was that way at the start of our relationship till i found out those things he had done.I have forgiven him but i just cant seem to forget it and its been almost a year.Even just writing about it makes me very sad......i wonder if i will ever be able to completely and unequivocally trust him.

PS ever heard of 3Oh!3....a pop band out now....there song lyrics..."dont trust a ho,never trust a ho,wont trust a ho...." sticks in my stupid head all the time.....i love my man,i really do even if it seems like i dont....i guess since i am defective i am doomed to have defective relationships forever