My uni is pretty big. I am redoing first year and not living in halls. How should I go about finding some friends? At the moment I have like 2 friends and I am pretty bad at keeping in touch. I don't intend to be but I find it really hard to communicate unless it's in the moment, face to face. I hate having a mobile!
Initially I can start speaking to people fine, start speaking to the person next to me in class etc. Then the more they get to know me, more I back away. I do it all the time. I will make an effort to speak to someone, we'll get on, we'll maybe meet up once then I start dreading texts and avoiding them. It's not like I dislike them or that I'm content on my own. I really annoy myself with this because all though my intentions aren't selfish it doesn't matter cuz the outcome is that I mess people around. It must seem more ridiculous that I do this after being the one who initiates things. I never used to be like this. then I leave it so long meeting people that I feel I have to be on top form to go.
It's kinda embarrassing to have lived here so long and have no social life. I have nothing to show anyone here, it's quite pathetic. I have no life to introduce new people to and this is where I've been most my life. New people would surely wonder why I have no friends, it is odd for someone my age. I'm not okay with all this so when I think I might have to explain I hide away more, like if I get speaking to someone.
I've lost my train of thought. I don't think I've been talking much about what I intended. This isn't complete but I don't often get this much wrote before deleting/giving up.
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