Do you usually have eye contact with people when you talk to them? Some people don't ever look at people, so if this is your typical way of interacting with people, maybe your T just has to adjust.

For people who do normally look at people, if you are not looking at your T, it is probably because you are in the middle of talking about something difficult or shameful. When this happens to me, I do find it helpful to try to look up to T from time to time, because when our eyes meet, we can connect, and that is helpful. It makes me feel not so alone in what I am telling him--like he is there and listening and that he cares.

Also, I think looking down and not in T's eyes is a way of communicating to him that "this is hard for me", and so it has communicative value and so is not necessarily a "bad" thing to do.

Very early on in therapy, T told me that if the client looks down and to the right it means something different from if they are looking down and to the left. I cannot remember at all what he meant by this, but now I am curious!