Quote:
Originally Posted by complic8d
((((((Peaches))))))
I know what it's like to not get the response that I need from t. Sometimes it can bring up so many feelings, so triggering. I have found that whenever I read something into what was said it needs to be checked out. A lot of the times my t had no idea that it was triggering, what I had inferred from something. We talk and get things cleared up. Chances are, your t being human like mine  , that she may have no idea that her response would trigger you. Even when I figure "she must know that will bother me", it isn't always so. Sometimes I have to write down the things I don't dare bring up, not wanting to be ashamed of my feelings, but I have found that she is a lot more understanding than I thought and she really wants to make things better. She actually will admit that she "had no idea." Probably best to air it out in a session, then she will know how you feel/felt and you will know what she meant.
(Sometimes I think we can be so sensitive to everything that they don't even realize what may be an issue, such little things affect us.)
I hope you get this worked out and feel better about things.
Take care!  |
Hi! I do "read in" to things way too much. I tend to overthink things, so sometimes she makes a brief statement, and i analyze it until i come up with some story or scenario about why she said what she did, or why she said it the way she said it. Usually, i feel that it has something negative to do with me. . .usually that i am not important or that she wants to distance from me. It kind of just snowballs from there until i'm triggered and hurt. Somehow, i guess i do this to myself, even though it feels like it is my t that is hurting me.
My t is good about discussing misunderstandings. We seem to have so many! I know she is only human and makes mistakes, and i want to give her the benefit of the doubt. . .and she deserves the benefit of the doubt. But some extremely insecure side of me is always prepped and ready to react with defensiveness and hurt to anything she does that looks in any way like a rejection. . .