I have been elsewhere in the PsychCentral community, but have decided maybe this forum is where I need to be...also.

I suffer from PTSD due to significant emotional trauma covering my past 50 years, since I was a child.

One of the issues that I am confused about today is...we (my psychologist and I) "pressed stop" on the "VCR"/my memory recall at the end of the hour today...he noted that I was able to share all the memories we had time for me to recall today WITHOUT emotion. Lots of anxiety, but not emotion...no tears.

I only became emotional at the end when I referred to my therapy of that time (mid-80s) as continual non-stop Crisis Control...the only thing my therapist of that time ever had time for. (I no longer live in that State.) But suffice it to say after my childhood years, and my years with my son's violence, 1986 was the worst year of my life. There will certainly never be another like it.

So this is beginning for me. I am just now at age 60 embarking on my PTSD understanding journey. I know it will no be an easy journey, but it is a necessary journey that I must wade through, no matter how long it takes and how painful it may be.