Thank you Vickie .

I'm not sure what she will be thinking . The idea that she doesn't actually care to see me , or she isn't as bothered by it as I am . But I know we are close and that isn't true . But still can't seem to stop thinking that . It is all weird and muddled . So I just try not to imagine what she feels about it and go on what she says . All she says is that she will miss everyone . In a pretty bland way . And that just doesn't seem right . I don't know . All very confusing for me .
And yes , I do need to do something for myself . Meditation has been recommended over and over but I really would not know where to start .
I am seeing someone about all my problems , have been for a bit . Doesn't seem to be working very well at all .

And my avatar is the logo for Opeth . Just thought I'd mention . Promote the greatness of the band .