I know I sound like a broken record BUT open honest communication without guilt or manipulation is the only way to make this work. As Tishie mentioned you have lots of tools available to you, MSN, Skype, Yahoo (list goes on) all have voice chat.

You have got to agree that you will take what she says at face value. When you "imagine" what she's thinking you're making her accountable for what is going on in YOUR mind. If/when there is something that doesn't sit right with you YOU have got to say "what did you mean by that" and accept the answer at face value.

You also need to take responsiblity for your own feelings. If you depend upon her to make you feel good or happy, this relationship won't work (nor any other).

You have a unique opportunity here to learn to self-soothe and comfort. What I find the most helpful is to remind myself (even as the paranoia and anxiety runs wild) that this is all really a figment of my imagination. OWN those feelings, realize that while they FEEL real and they're horrible, YOU still control them.

My husband and I were able to do it before the technology of today, when long distance calls were only for emergencies. We did it with letters and the occassional phone call. It can work.