Quote:
Originally Posted by oracat
I'm a grad student and just started therapy for the 1st time in my life 3 weeks ago, at my campus health center. The point is, I have loads of education debt to pay off, and so it's crucial that I get a job after graduation ASAP. Plus since my mom has nothing saved up for retirement, I'm expected to support her as well. I can't do either unless I get a high-paying job. My lack of confidence, soft-spoken voice, stuttering problem and social anxiety will be my downfall. It's crucial that I deal wtih these problems ASAP. I've tried to deal with them all my life on my own but finally it's at the point where I need professional help. If I can't solve them then how can I pay off that debt and support my mother later in life?
Well my therapist is a doctoral student. She's nice and supportive and understanding, I like her a lot, but I felt like crap after leaving our last session the other day. I was talking about a lot of painful things and spent half the session crying. So far, all 3 of our sessions have been just me talking about my problems with little or no suggestions from her. I mean, she says things to suggest that she understands my feelings and where I'm coming from. She did suggest that I go to an interview skills workshop (which I did), but overall, I feel like she's not giving me any suggestions on what I can actually DO to deal with these social problems. She just sits and listens and reiterates what I'm saying.
At the beginning of every session she asks what I want to talk about. If I say I want to discuss my confidence issues, she'll say ok and then wait for me to continue. It doesn't seem like she has a structure or plan for our sessions. She said that part of her wanted to give me suggestions or do role play, etc, and the other part of her wanted to see if I can work it out on my own. Well if I could do the latter I wouldn't be in therapy! Isn't the point of therapy to get professional help and advice? She's a very nice person, don't get me wrong, but I'm worried that I will go through all 8 sessions with me just talking about my problems without getting any real suggestions from her. I'm not expecting her to SOLVE my problems. I just want professional advice and insights. She's supposed to be the professional, right?! I'm just feeling really confused and ****** right now. I have no one to talk to about this because I only see her once a week and I haven't told my family I'm in therapy (partly because they are part of the reason why I'm there).
What I want to know is, is this how therapy is supposed to be? Also, how do I stop crying during my sessions? I'm such a wreck that I lose control at every session. It really wastes a lot of time. Why do I even bother, really? It looks like therapy isn't going to work for me after all.
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*hugs*
dont give up hope. did you have a frank discussion with her about what your goals are for your time in treatment? if not, i think you should. even if you have to write it down and hand it to her, i think its important that she know what you want from her.
lots of therapists work in this way. lots of therapists dont "give advice" as much as they try to help people come to conclusions for themselves. if what you need are concrete tools and maybe homework, i would suggest you ask her for that.
that said, there is also the likelihood that what youve been doing thus far in therapy is exactly what you need to be doing. you said this is the first time youve ever been in therapy in your life....thats a lot of time thats gone by! maybe what she's doing is letting you tell your story. that may not sound important to you, but it can be extremely therapeutic and may help you to make connections and understand how you came to be in the state you are. 20-some odd years of life (im guessing) is a long time to feel like you have no one to talk to about things. i dunno...i guess i think you could stand to cut yourself a break.
speaking as a doctoral student who has seen many a client in my day, i expected that people might have an issue with being "stuck" with the student. only one did, but once we discussed it, things went very smoothly. i think its a valid concern and i think its one that we (as students) completely understand. i would say talk to her about your concerns in that area as well. i know that when it came up for me, i let the client tell me what his concerns were and ask me whatever questions he needed and also extended him permission (which i didnt feel that he needed, but it seemed that he wanted) to speak to my supervisor if ever he needed to. we are always supervised by a licensed psychologist, so she's not just flying blind in there (or at least she shouldnt be).