Thanks for the words of support and encouragement, everyone.
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Some people find peace in reliving all that has happened to them, but i didn't..... Mind you, i did like that she made me find a 'safe spot', which i try to use every time i have an attack... I find i feel better after just regular therapy sessions.
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Sunee, I hear ya - I am certainly not feeling any peace. The safe place has helped me to calm myself at home a bit, but then I start crying again, not good.
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I had gone thru EMDR several times with my T and it can be exhausting. Usually I cant wait to go to bed after the session... the next day is most times - uncentered - unpeaceful- My T says when you allow your brain to process the mem's that makes way for new mems that have also been blocked. They (the new) may still have no place to go but spin around and around. So if you dont have a similar mem box that they recognize then they do not fit. I think this is why there is unrest for a couple days after.
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SUNNY2009, welcome to the PC boards, and thanks for your reply!
I did feel like a mess yesterday, it was like my thoughts and feelings had been in a whirlwind and were still settling down from that. I like the way your T described it, because while the memories we targeted with the EMDR don't seem to be quite as traumatic for me to remember, I have all these new, horrible feelings of being worthless and hopeless that weren't there before, and they are strong!
So maybe the EMDR stirred them up, and now they have nowhere to go. I am still very tired and didn't sleep well last night, so I am going back to bed now to rest more.
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The spacey feeling could very well be dissociation, that is how I feel especially during this kind of thing. Did your T make sure to help ground you afterward, the safe place and making sure you were "all there?"
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Exotic - no, we didn't do any grounding back to my safe place after the EMDR, we just talked for about 15 minutes. T did have me do a body scan to see if I had any emotion stored anywhere, so we targeted some anxiety in my stomach, that was about it.
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I hope you feel better today, if not you really should call your T and get in to settle things down a bit. I am very proud of you!
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Thanks, Exotic. I'm not really feeling better today - I did call earlier and left T a message. I'm also feeling lousy enough that I'm staying home from work, so I'm hoping that T will have an opening for me sometime today - I think that's what I need, her help in sorting this out. I can't keep feeling like this!
ETA: T called, I'm seeing her this evening. I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks for the support, it means the world to me!