I feel lucky because I haven't really had to deal with issues of my current T correcting me or trying to control me, but I did have an instance with my first T when she pointed out what she felt was my incorrect thinking. I remember she told me I was catastrophizing, and I chose to believe her and do this thing (outside of therapy) that I thought would have awful consequences but according to her, would not (it was just my incorrect thinking making me think it would). So I trusted her judgment, and I went and did this thing, and unfortunately, my worst fears were true. The outcome was awful and resulted in bigtime hurt and pain for me and were completely unnecessary, if I had just not done this thing. So at my next session, I reported back to her, and she saw that she had been incorrect. I think she learned a bit of a lesson there, and after that, was more likely to trust my judgment, because she saw that in this instance, it had been correct and she had been wrong.

So, pachy, that's my solution--let them make a few mistakes with you and hopefully learn they don't always know what "correct" is. I am not sure how you can apply it to your situation, but maybe you can.

It seems to me like if you are needing to talk about this topic--how your T is like your mother--then you need to. If your T keeps trying to suppress that conversation, you will never get it out on the table and so never be able to leave it behind. He might find you moving forward past this a lot more quickly if he would only listen. Instead, you remain stuck trying to get the guy to listen. Ughh.

No, I don't think so. I think change is something that comes from within, not something the therapist does to a client (at least in some therapy orientations). How do you think your therapist would answer if you asked him, "are you trying to change me?"

One time my current T wanted me to do a certain action outside of therapy, and this action was not consistent with who I was or where I was in my thinking at that time. So I told him no, I wasn't going to do that. Why not? Because I didn't believe it and it wasn't true and I wasn't going to fake feeling a certain way just because he suggested I should. But I'm not suggesting you be fake. It seems like you are, because what you are suggesting is "not me" at this moment--maybe I will get there, but I am not there yet. If I do this thing, it would not be speaking the truth. Do you want me to lie just because you think this is a good thing to do? Ummm, well no. End of conversation.

So I just kind of backed him into a corner about authenticity and honesty, etc. I do not do things that are lies for the sake of who knows what. My T championed authenticity to me, and so this is what the result is. I also left open that there might come a time when I was in alignment with what he was thinking, but that time had not yet come. This allows him to save face a bit and realize he is not necessarily suggesting something categorically "wrong" but just something the client is not ready for.

So pachy, my suggestion in this case is to show your T that following his suggestion is actually not aligned with other things you have learned in therapy (and that perhaps he has been promoting). Then you catch him in a bind and maybe he will sit still and listen.

Good luck.