Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
You ask such a general question.
For one thing it occurs that one's mother is one's mother; on the other hand, people get into therapy because they *know* they are going wrong somewhere. is that what you thought woudl be said?
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No.
Quote:
Lesseee... do you see these as controlling?
SAWE: There is no such thing as UPR outside of this room, except for one's mother if she is capable, or you could get a dog.
T: you really don't believe that do you? I think that's very sad.
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I react to the part about "you don't really believe that do you?" as that it is an attempt to control. To reverse or deny what the person (SAWE) has just said. Maybe you don't see it as a
dangerous attempt to control, but I often do. It is the kind of thing my mother would say: if she asked us what we wanted and we gave her an answer that she did not like, she would
tell us that we did not want what we had just said we wanted.
This in itself is not necessarily threatening. Maybe you can understand where I am "coming from" if I tell you that at times she would tell us that she would "break" us, or "break our spirits" -- and that I felt as a child -- and well into adulthood -- that she had succeeded. She would "show us no mercy" -- things like that, accompanied by "considerable" physical force and an ability to act outside of the family, when others were present, in such a way as to deny and hide what was happening inside the family. And those outsiders
always, as far as I could tell, were deluded by her, or took her side, or did not want to hear about it.
So I tend to react strongly and swiftly to things that, if I were able to react more slowly, I might be able to handle better... But then, in our family, I guess I learned that if you did not react instantly, you were dead.