I am so sick of
1. A constant state of both apathy and anxiety about my life.
2. Worrying if I am mentally ill or not
3. Having no irl friends
4. Having no creative outlet
5. Having no direction or purpose in my life
6. Doing next to nothing day after day after day
7. Having no interest in doing anything
8. It taking so long to get on the right meds
Making this list just makes me want to die. But I tried and I can’t think about any positives.
I am thinking of skipping therapy tomorrow. I feel like a drain on him and I don’t want him to stop liking me. So, if I go, I might put on a happy face (unconsciously) for him and joke around and be silly with him. But I want to be myself when I am with him. And be accepted for that. So what is the point of going?