My T has asked me what he could do to make it feel safe, and to answer that I try to listen to what my gut is saying rather than what my head is saying (which is probably "I don't know!). One time I told him I needed the lights to be dimmer and he was happy to oblige. Other times we have talked about why I could not share something "really bad" with him, and he was very patient in going through all the reasons I felt I could not. He shared information from his experience and training and past, and all this made me feel more secure. Like when I told him I didn't want to share with him because I didn't want to dump this yucky stuff on him, he gave me examples from his past that reassured me he could handle this. Just everything he did made me feel safer, especially his willingness to take the reasons for my hesitancy very seriously and explore them with me. He never laughed at anything I said or made it seem like this was a stupid reason or tried to brush it off with a "don't worry about that." This took time.