Emptiness that won't be filled up.
Anger and frustration.
Not being heard, even when trying my best.
Shame.
Having a bad attitude. Not caring, or believing that anyone else does.
The part of me that finds it necessary to punish me for trying or even thinking about doing anything nice for myself.

But of course SI only makes it worse, and other strategies can make it better instead. But sometimes it's hard to care. And sometimes it is too scary to try to change or to be something other than what I always thought I was or was supposed to be.