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I've been nervous about hanging out with friends for a while now, especially since I've been put on "medical leave" from school.
I don't completely know why, but I just freak out when teh situation comes up. i'm lonely, I WANT that social interaction. I'll tell the friend on the phone that yes, I would like to hang out, but when it comes to actually DOING it, I freeze. Hide. Sometimes just leave them hanging and don't call back for another day or two *or more*.
Thing is it would be easier if once they got there everything would get better, but sometimes I'm even nervous or uncomfortable the whole time they're over....
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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