((pachy))
Quote:
|
Sorry, I think this is, without further elaboration, extremely naíve.
|
'nuff said. Idea number 1 is deep-sixed.
Quote:
|
I do not find it particularly easy to "just change how I feel about myself". I was not taught to value myself, and it has been quite hard to attain any of that feeling over the years. When I value myself, I turn out to be rather different than most people, I think, and that makes it hard to live sometimes.
|
I'm not saying it is 'easy' to learn to value yourself. After a lifetime of being told by others or yourself that you aren't valuable it will take some work. IMHO, it is well worth the effort. If for no other reason than you're stuck with yourself.
I love that you are different. It is being different that makes you such a special person. The story you told about taking in your friend's cat, and how you built trust was beautiful -- and just one example of how 'being different' is a good thing.
Before you start to think I am being overly optimistic here, let me share with you that I too have always felt different, and that showing my differences would either bring about harm or condemnation. I have spent hours talking with T about this and have realized that so many of the judgmental thoughts in my head are from other people. My mother 'should-ed' us kids to death. There was a list of things we should and should not do and a boatload of guilt if we did not comply. This impacted every area of my life. I found that people in my adult life were threatened by the differences.
As I come to accept that I AM different, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, people in my life are following suit. Instead of being threatened by me, they seem to appreciate my unique approach. I still doubt myself, but I am slowly learning to appreciate all of who I am.
Quote:
I do accept your wishes and feel that you honestly do wish me well. In spite of what you may feel after my responses!  And I think you are one of the healthier people around (but there are quite a few of them here also)!
|
I think your responses are honest...and I could not ask for anything more than that. I am also honored that you include me in the ranks of the 'healthier PC members'
I keep posting here because to me, this board provides the sort of support that we all could have used growing up. Someone to tell us we are 'ok' for feeling whatever we're feeling. Someone to send us love when we need it, and someone to just accept us for wherever we are on our path of personal growth.
I hope that one day you can look at yourself and be appreciative of your differences. In the meantime...what would happen if you spent a little time each day being grateful for what makes pachy, pachy? Maybe your mother has had enough time in your therapy hour, and the reason you are feeling so frustrated is that YOU are wanting more time to be seen and heard?
No matter what you decide, I love you for being different. I suspect there are a lot of people who are different on this board, and that is one of the reasons this community is so special.
