Big Hugs Turq!
I have a standing Friday Night "thing" where I go to a really good friend's place after work (We are co-worker as well as friends). It was hard at first since it was "outside" my schedule, and when my head is muddled (my term for when I am low or am going through medication adjustment) any "schedule" variation can cause me to be panicky. (I can get a little OCD from time to time). The thing that made it ok was I had a massive panic attack while out with said friend. We went back to his place and he just let me calm down. He handled it well and I was ok. He didn't bolt from our friendship because he had seen me go through a bad attack (and I have lost some friends because they couldn't handle the attack).
Just know that it is ok, take baby steps with it. You'll get better with it if you work at it.
My Friday night thing is now something I look forward to and is the most relaxing evening of my week!
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I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one!
Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light!
They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off...
Oh look! A CHICKEN!
Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back!
How do you want to be seen?