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Sep 24, 2009, 02:19 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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   So sorry you are struggling and hurting so ((((tryingtobeme)))). You need to surround yourself with loving, caring, understanding, and supportive people right now, and you need to be completely selfish about it. If you had a broken leg, no one would expect you to "change" that to accommodate them - your depression, etc., is the same. You cannot just spontaneously heal your MIs anymore than you could spontaneously heal a broken leg or any other physical injury or disease just by "changing" yourself. It isn't about you changing to make everyone else feel better about themselves, it's a matter of you receiving the appropriate treatment for your MIs so that you can have a more rich and fulfilling life - and others will naturally benefit from their relationships with you. It sounds to me like those around you right now are much more concerned about how they are allowing their lives to be impacted by your problems than they are about how YOUR life is being affected by your conditions. Also, because of your MIs it's very easy for others to use you as a "scapegoat" - make you responsible for THEIR problems instead of taking responsibility for their own lives and problems. You really do need to reprioritize and put yourself, your physical and mental health, at the very top of the list, and don't allow anyone to try to hold you responsible for their behavior. Please post as often as you can - we are all here to hear and help in any way we can.
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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