I don't understand what is wrong with me. I can be turned on and not even realize it. I feel bad for my boyfriend because he's really depressed because I won't have sex with him. He went from being a real sweet guy about it to a real jerk because I won't give it to him. We could be messing around and I just flip out and start crying. I've never had anything bad happen to me that should affect me, but I am downright frightened of losing my virginity. He's basically scared me by telling me it's going to be real painful. I'm pretty small like 4'9 and 86 pounds. He's about 5'6 and weighs 250 some odd pounds. I think I'm afraid that he's going to crush me or something. We've tried just about everything to help me relax, but I can't seem to. I just feel there is something wrong with me.

This last weekend he went and ran at a demolition derby for his first time and he got 2nd place. I was really happy, but he wanted to have sex and I couldn't commit to do it. I don't know if I have a commitment problem or if it's something sexual. I'm only 22 years old and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm tired of feeling bad for myself and my fiance. It just makes me want to cry because I don't know what to do. I've been hurt by him emotionally and I know I've probably done the same to him. I want to feel the connectedness because I love him, but I'm so afraid to.

Thank you