I have no mental health services. I have been trying to get my family doctor to put me on a waiting list but I have been waiting since March 2009. I am trying out the local mental health clinic in my city but since I am stabilized, on proper medication, not S or self-harming, or other things...then they don't take me seriously when I ask for help (therapy). They just pass me around the system. Wasted 2 hrs so far talking in circles only to find out that I was directed to the wrong person for help. And that the system is backed up and it might take some time to get help. And since I have been in therapy for many years they have given me the impression that I am "cured" and in no need of mental health services. The psychologist said things like are you just wanting reassurance, advice, guidance...etc?

I have bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD. During PMS week and half I cannot regulate my moods.

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Today, a nice elderly couple came over to do some home repairs around my home. It was very nice to get the help. I had a whole in one of my walls and I subtly hinted that I would get it professionally repaired (since this elderly man had done a very poor job on other patch work)...but he didn't take the hint and repaired the wall anyway. I was smiling on the outside but fuming on the inside. Now I have yet another wall that I will have to have repaired professionally because of the poor workmanship. Grr! And he was about to hang a door back up for me which would require holes being drilled into my new wood laminate flooring...so I lied and said I was having new flooring installed and that there was no need to do it.

I know I sound rude and like a total B....but this man has done some awful patch work in my home that is going to cost me money to have repaired so I can paint the walls.

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I think I am coming to terms that I will never have the relationship with my brother that I want. It has always been on his terms and his boundaries. He has made no attempts to contact me since Dec.26/08. Now I will just have to kindly turn down holiday dinner invitations since I don't want to run into him.