It's been suggested a couple of times on PC that maybe I choose people (therapists) who are not good for me, because they act in a way that is familiar to me as a child. Sometimes that can seem to come too close to saying that I caused it, or that it was my own fault. One psychiatrist actually did say that to me: that my situation was my own fault.

In thinking about it, I do not think I have chosen people who will be bad for me. I do think that I have mostly not had a good filter when choosing them. I have just accepted what was presented to me, assuming that they must be OK. This is because I did not have the confidence to believe I could determine what was good and what was not.

In addition, it always seemed to me that if I had to make distinctions between people that I would have to believe that some people were "bad" and should be condemned. I could never bring myself to accept that as being logical. Now I think I can decide to put people in "categories" of pretty-healthy or not-so-healthy, and that those categories are (an attempt to make) distinctions that are factual, not judgemental. It is just trying to find the level of "health" in people without judging them for whatever state they are in (as far as I can see that).