January I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. It's so difficult to decide when/how to step in. Especially when they spend so much of their time hiding things from you. My Grandmother in particular knew she was losing her memory, it started quite early because of a stroke. She became quite keen at hiding it over the years.

We didn't have to worry about cleanliness, she had a daily routine that she would complete come hell or high water no matter what (because if she stopped at any point she would have no clue where she was). But God forbid something interferred with the TV schedule during the day. If Days of our Lives was not on, she had no idea it was lunch time. The same with Wheel of Fortune and dinner.

She lived well below her means because she had no idea how much money was in her checking account and did NOT want anyone else involved in her financial affairs. She was terrified of spending any money, even on food or medication.

She was very over-protective about the closets in the spare bedrooms. Even when I stayed with her when she was dx with cancer, I was not to go near the closets. Upon her death we discovered they were literally packed from floor to ceiling with mail, most of it junk mail. I don't know why she thought it was so important to save it except she had become paranoid about throwing anything away with her name on it.

How has your mother taken to the idea of someone living with her?