For the last 3 weeks I have been feeling a lot better probably due to the new meds I have been taking (Effexor) I certainly feel a lot more like the old me which is great. My doctor, the insurance co. and myself have agreed to a return to work for the end of october which I am quite ambivalent about: I want to get back to my normal life but I am also scared of what will happen, they could lay me off or I could be so miserable there that I will quit, oh well, one day at a time.
My problem right now is that even if I feel much better I still have quite a bit of anxiety and especially I find myself being very complacent in just staying in my house watching tv and taking care of the housecleaning and not much more. I am afraid I have become lazy and so used to lying around I will not be able to function normally. People close to me tell me I have to force myself to get up early in the morning, go for walks etc... but I seem happy just staying around the house. It has been 6 months since I last worked and I still feel tired from doing nothing.
To finish on a good note, I do finally see the light at the end of the tunnel which I thought was extinguished forever. I hope this can bring a bit of hope to those who are still suffering from this horrible depression. It can get better, I am living it