  Ohhhhhh my Dear Friend (((Babysteps))) - you REALLY need to find other living arrangements - have to get out of that toxic environment so you can desensitize and gain some balance and at least a modicum of peace. However, until then - by all means post, post, post - say whatever you need to say to release the pressure and defuse. Still listening - always here for you.  
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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