My Support Forums - View Single Post - Does anyone have SERIOUS jealousy issues?

theotterone · Sep 25, 2009, 01:15 PM

When I met my husband, his best friend for over half his life was a woman. There were times I got jealous, but part of that was because she didn't think she had boundries and would "do" things (that he allowed to a point) and offered him sex while I was in a high risk pregnancy with our first daughter.

He is not a jealous by nature. My best friend is a male co-worker. It was D's (my husband, call him D) idea that we make Friday night a regular hang out night at my friend's place so his son (ADHD and developmentally delayed) had the regularity of me coming over every Friday night, as I am the only mother figure in The Boy's life. As long as my own family comes first, everyone is ok with sharing me to some extent. (there are no romantic feeling there, so that is a plus).

What got me over it was almost 4 years ago D walked in and announced (in front of our 2 daughters

) that we were getting divorced. Obviously we didn't, but during the time we were working out the split, I discovered a lot of inner strength I didn't know I had.

I learned to love myself and stand up for me and my children. I realized that as much as I would like to raise my girls in a two parent household, I had the support of my family and friends and could be a single mom and make it if I had to. My point of view changed. While I would LIKE him in my life, I didn't NEED him as my husband if that is what he chose. When he decided to stay, there were a couple of conditions I made, not only for my girls but for me too.

Once I found this inner strength and could love myself, I found I was not nearly as jealous as I was. His decisions are his to make, not mine. I just know what I will deal with and what is a deal breaker...

Hope this helps!