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theotterone · Sep 25, 2009, 06:13 PM

First and foremost, please realize this is only my opinion...

Second, I'm sorry, but it sounds like your ex wants his cake and to eat it too...

Ok, now that is out of the way... Some believe that humans, since they are animals, are not meant to be with only one partner. That it is in our nature to have multiple partners at one time. The problem is with STDs and the possibly deadly consequences, this can be dangerous! I can see the point, and the excitement of a new partner can be addicting. It is new and intense and fun and pleasurable (and can I put any more ands in that sentence?)

Society as a whole believes in one mate. This isn't to say that open relationships don't work, but I have yet to witness one that does. I have never participated in one either. I think it would be too hard on anyone, mental illness or not, to deal with. If someone has that type of relationship work, more power to them! How they manage is a mystery to me.

I think the issue of porn/fantasy is about personal preference and level of comfort. Most men I have talked to, when talking about a woman's attractiveness, don't expect us to look like models or porn stars. Men tend to be very visual, and enjoy seeing sex going on. Women, as a rule, not so much. We are very brain/emotion motivated. There are some things I don't mind (and even enjoy watching), and some I won't. There are some styles of writing I enjoy reading. With fantasy, it is SUPER IMPORTANT to be honest and open about it. There needs to be clarity, if one person is uncomfortable with something, or something alarms them, the other person needs to stop and not push. Because of my own past, there are some things I can not do or it will bring up memories I thought long dealt with.

I hope this helps. Like I said, it is only my opinion....