Dear tryingtobeme,Life is hard. But we don't know what death is like, so that's not an option. I can see where you would be very conflicted about your father's condition. I can see where forgiveness would be very difficult, but seeing him sick is hard, too. It's hard to know what to think. Your husband no doubt has as much to change as you do. It's just that you have treatment needs and conditions that he does not have to struggle with. His part of "change" should involve becoming more supportive, I'm thinking. Your thought that you need to do all the changing is just part of your depressive or learned thought process. You are vastly better than what you have been led to think!! I am 59, and wish I had a husband or son of any kind [well, not abusive] to do the plumbing and the lawn, now that I have become disabled and without family who can visit. If I may ask, how did the friend overstep her bounds? Hopefully, you have multiple friends, but with me, friendship is a treasured thing. However, only you know how you feel, and you are certainly entitled to that. Caring for You ~ billieJ